I should know better than to talk to you. To respond to you. Doing that only opens one of the many pandora’s boxes that sit on the shelves of my dusty mind.
It never fails that you make it to my dreams after nothing more than mundane conversion. Who wouldn’t be a little addicted to the struggle that was us? At least when you’re being pushed and pulled you are feeling something.
But I should know better than to dare my mind to take you off that shelf. But since when did I follow the rules when it came to you?
So it isn’t that I think the grass is greener. For once. I think it’s more that I wonder about it being a different shade of green on the other side.
I know you wouldn’t have made me happy. And yet there is something about the life I would have had with you that makes me wish for you sometimes. Wish the biggest kinds of wishes. For you. That I were different. That I were right. For you.
But girls like me don’t get guys like you. That’s what it feels like.
I wish I had more to miss when I think about you. More than a few nights worth of memories. Amazing how only a few memories can take up so many daydreams.
Amazing how I’m the only one dreaming. Still.
— Francesca Lia Block, My Virtual World (via themindofafictionbooklover)
— Angelina Jolie (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
There are about a million things I can remember about us. The convoluted confusion that was us anyway. For some reason one of our last conversations sticks with me the most.
"If you could be any manmade landmark, what would you be?"
"A lighthouse," I said, barely hesitating.
"What did you just say?" You had already moved on to your next thought. You did that a lot. Especially in the end when it came to me.
"A lighthouse," I repeated. "That’s exactly what I said." You kind of exhaled when you said that. I can still feel your breath even though you weren’t even there.
I hope now in that moment you realized I was different, that you really missed out. I hope now that you look back and remember my answer was yours. I was yours.
I hope now when you feel lost you realize I would have found you. Because I have to believe that I haunt you somehow. Kind of like lighthouses do. Because no one should get to walk away without goodbye.
— Banana Yoshimoto, Goodbye Tsugumi (via sad-plath)
Lemony Snicket, Who Could That Be at This Hour?
— Garey, Juliann. Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See. (via wordsnquotes)